READING

What I Ate Last Night: November 2016 Issue

What I Ate Last Night: November 2016 Issue

THE NIGHT BEFORE THE MORNING AFTER

I’d like to celebrate our new-format TT mag by sharing a little story about late-night snacking that I like to call ‘Currichups’.

It all started at 3:42am one recent Sunday morning after a drink or two at Rourkes, a dance at Throb, a slight stumble in the Wisdom loos and finally, a sudden sideways lurch into an empty bike rack outside what might have been Discovery. It’s unclear.

The point is I found myself a few minutes later, along with my trusty housemates Lynda and Sexy George, rubbing the feeling back into my shins inside Barra Bar on Mitchell St.

Now, 3:42am is usually a time of hesitation for most people when it comes to elementary decision-making, however my housemates displayed precision ordering bordering on hospital-grade OCD.

Lynda asked for hot chips with taco topping but zero chili plus garlic sauce on the side, and Sexy George requested hot chips with no topping but extra cheese and extra chili and on the side extra extra curry sauce please. Unnerved by their exacting specifications (and possibly due to the fact I was well beyond reading the menu) I mumbled to the young man behind the counter ‘err… one of… um… what they said’, just before my eyes glazed over.

Now, I maintain the result had nothing to do with my inability to form distinct syllables, but we ended up with the two separate orders piled into a Styrofoam bucket in a single glorious, greasy mess, heaped, steaming and as offensively aromatic as an open sewer.

Currichups was born.

We made it home and Sexy George claimed the bucket. Lynda and I protested in the manner ladies eyeing off their man-friends’ platters have done for centuries:

‘We only want a little taste’.

Sexy George lived up to his side of the gender stereotype by stating that he didn’t want to share and that we should have got our own. (The injustice of this statement was noted at the time.)

‘Just a bite’ we said. ‘Just a couple of chips… not even a couple, a single chip with sauce on.’ Eventually the silly lad relented and left us alone with the bucket for two minutes while he went to put on his loose-fitting pants.

We left him a couple of chips.

Should you attempt this meal, you’re going to need a fork, a spoon, a napkin, a couple of old towels and close proximity to a shower or car wash. Also, some toothpaste. We polished off the lot with no obvious side effects other than three days worth of garlic-curry breath that had the wallpaper peeling off in strips.

 

The Barra Bar

Currichups: $…

Open: till 4am Friday and Saturday nights, normal trading hours the rest of the week, closed Mondays.


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